Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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