just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
