I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
