After last night, I could never be a politician.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
