I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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