is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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