I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
