Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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