I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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