just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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