I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize