But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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