My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
