The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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