I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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