Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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