One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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