i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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