So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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