Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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