Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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