dude i'm inner monologue high
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize