I need to stop coming to work sober
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
