i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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