lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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