I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
