awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just cropdusted the office
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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