Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize