Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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