covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
is it fun? or sober?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
