i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i already hear my dad disowning me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
