And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
