Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
