I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
