they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
