dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
