You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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