Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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