Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
