Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
