Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
