dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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