Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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