So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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