He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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