let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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