of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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