3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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