This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
