Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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