K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
