oh god the rape fog is back!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
