It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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