Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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