Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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