Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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