blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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