Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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