I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
