As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
